Thanks to all of you for your comments about our video about underage drinking. I’m sad to report that not everyone agreed with me but I just read Scout’s post so I know that at least one person did.
So in the spirit of fair play (and because I am a mature grownup) , I will offer you the thoughts of someone who agreed with Scout. This comment came to us all the way from the U.K.
I say you should just let her do it. If she?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s only going to have one bottle of wine between a couple of friends it sounds like they won?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t be using it irresponsibly, they just want to feel sophisticated and grown up. And you should respect her for asking your permission. When I was her age (and much younger) my friends and I would sneak alcohol into our houses to drink behind our parents?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ backs.
That is the other side of the argument, isn’t it? And yes, there are parents we know who take this approach. But we just can’t. It just doesn’t feel right. Actually, it just feels wrong.
And thanks to Allstate Insurance, I now know why it feels so wrong. A few weeks back I came across a full page ad for Allstate in the NY Times. It advocates for greater vigilence in monitoring teenage driving. The argument is that teenage brains are not as developed as grownup brains.
Now some people (like Scout for one) will disagree vehemently. The folks at DailyKos were among them. But then I read something that makes a lot of sense to me. I found an article called “Inside The Teenage Brain.” Inspite of how much this concept frightened me, I visited the site and read the article.
I was reminded that the frontal part of the brain controls planning, anticipation and other what they call “executive functions.” The lower part of the brain controls instinct and emotion. In adults, the executive functions control the instinct/emotion reaction. The relationship between these two is finely tuned.
Not so with teenagers say researchers. The instinct/emotion part of the brain can, in cases (though not, of course, in Scout’s case) cause impulse and instinct to take the lead. What are the implications? According to researcher Deborah Yurgelun-Todd, Director of Neuropyschology and Cognitive Neuroimaging at McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA:
One of the implications of this work is that the brain is responding differently to the outside world in teenagers compared to adults. And in particular, with emotional information, the teenager’s brain may be responding with more of a gut reaction than an executive or more thinking kind of response. And if that’s the case, then one of the things that you expect is that you’ll have more of an impulsive behavioral response, instead of a necessarily thoughtful or measured kind of response.
Based on this research, Scout can think what she chooses about Fred’s comment but Fred has the upper hand.
But still. I must admit that Scout made a few (not alot – just a few) good points. She is absolutely right about the cocktail party. There were people who were here who should not have driven home. And had they been friends of Scout’s, we would not have let them. And yes, Scout is right. There have been times in my life when I had car keys in my hand and would not likely have passed a breathalizer test. I will even be honest and say that I gently asked Scout if she would consider softening her language about this in her post. She gently responded, “No.”
Where does this leave me? Ruminating about double standards. Wondering about what the real relationship is between instinctual and rational behavior. Percolating about what it means to be a grownup.
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