Scout will graduate from high school on June 21. Her high school days which she said hated (and I believe her) will be behind her. There is a long list of people who provided Scout with support and encouragement and guidance. No member of her high school Guidance Department made that list.
I’ve thought alot about this since Scout was accepted to the college of her choice (before that I was busy trying to avoid having an aneurism). Why would a guidance counselor not be helpful? Why would a guidance counselor be less than helpful?
As Scout readily admits (see Vassar College entry here), she was not at the tippy-top of her class. Let’s say she was “above average.” Certainly not a slouch. Board scores were strong.
Not only was Scout not encouraged to stretch, to reach, to make an effort to stand out in the other ways that Scout stands out, she was DIScouraged to reach. The day that Scout announced to the Guidance staff that she wanted to apply early decision to a top tier school, she came home furious and upset. What a guidance counselor COULD have said was: “Good for you Scout. Let’s make that application as strong as it can be. AND knowing that it is a highly competitive school, let’s take a look at the rest of your list to make sure you have a good number of options.”
That’s not what the counselor said. Scout was encouraged NOT to apply at all. Scout asked me to talk with them. I do what Scout tells me so I did. I tried to clarify and understand. “Aren’t there a variety of factors in the decision process?” Yes, I was told (in a tone intended to remind me that i was no smarter than a fifth grader). Geography, essay, alumni connections. All these things factor in but the first hurdle is the transcript. I was not arguing. I believed the Guidance Department knew these things to be true. I was just there to raise a question about the meaning of the word guidance.
I probed a bit on the alumni connections and relationships with trustee members. “Lots of people have those,” I was told. “So if you know someone, it better be someone with a name on a campus building.” The conversation continued. “And then you better be sure Scout goes to that school. You don’t know how many bridges are burned that way.”
I left the building wondering a lot of things. Maybe I rubbed the guidance counselor the wrong way. Maybe if Scout had taken all AP courses and discovered the cure for a terminal illness while winning the Scripps National Spelling Bee — maybe the conversation would have been different. Maybe it’s just a big school and there are alot of kids. All possible explanations.
One thing, however was clear. And so the next day I sent an email asking the Guidance Department to stop guiding my daughter. For whatever the reason, its definition of guidance was really different from mine.
It was also not long after that that I saw something online that struck me. Statistics that high schools were bragging about. I always knew about the “% of graduates who go on to college” statistic but then I saw this one: “% of students who get into their first choice college.” Aha.
I hope that everyone is very clear that the ‘guidance’ our kids are given to identify ‘reach’ schoolson their lists runs counter to a school’s interest in driving up their percentage of kids who get into their first choice. That statistic is SO not about the kids.
To guide is ‘to lead someone in the right direction.’ That’s a pesky word. “Right.” Right for (a) the high school guidance department? Right for (b) the Type A, micro-managing parents who have forgotten that raising a teenager is about starting to let go, or right for (c) the high school senior?
I know it’s not (a). And I know it’s not (b). And I know that in most cases, high school seniors can’t and shouldn’t be left to their own devices as they navigate the college application process. But I do know that the people we will think about as Scout grabs her diploma next Thursday night (not from Laura Bush by the way) will include people who took some time to know her, to ‘get her’ and who believed in her.
The world is full of doubt and so are high school seniors. And yes, I am casting a bit of doubt on the direction that Guidance Departments can turn if they lose sight of their role. They serve the kids. Not the schools.
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